Looking Forward

The past year was filled with potholes instead of milestones. Thyroid problems, sinus infections, weight, tiredness, anxiety, and finally surgery. It left me feeling defeated. Things that I wanted to do, I couldn’t do – I didn’t have the energy, and I was scared to try. After almost a year, I’ve finally reached a point that I don’t feel like that. The surgery cleared up a lot, and I think I finally have the thyroid problems under control. My weight is finally going down instead of up, and I feel less discouraged about everything.

Recently I started planning a trip. By myself. 600 miles away.

And the response I’ve gotten from people is that it’s a little bit crazy. And maybe it is.

But I feel like I spent the last year putting my life on hold because of my health. And I don’t want to continue to put it on hold because I don’t have anyone to go on vacation with, or because I’m single, or for any other reason. I’m tired of waiting on things that may never happen. I’m tired of dreaming of the future instead of living in the present.

And so I’m going.

And yes, there are things that I’d like to do that I won’t because I’ll be by myself. (Like a ghost tour, or the Walking Dead bus tour.) But at the same time, there are things that I’ll get to do that I wouldn’t do if I was traveling with others. (Like wander around Savannah with a camera to take artsy shots for a few hours with no destination in mind.) [Note to self – new (bigger) memory card for camera]

If something interests me, I have the freedom to do it, no matter how crazy it is. (Like maybe driving to a beach just to take pictures at sunset.)  The flip side is no one to enjoy it with. (Sunsets are beautiful, but better when shared.)  But right now – I’ll look at the positive. And the positive is that I can do this. I can go on vacation by myself, and I can have a good time. I can – that’s the take away. I can.  Because after almost a year of can’t – I can.

And maybe in the future, I won’t do it alone.